my name is brayden and my dad's a mexican

the end

2011-07-05T02:48:00.000-07:00

on june 3, my teaching career ended, and with it, this blog.

thanks for laughing with me.

definition

2011-05-20T09:43:00.000-07:00

we were reading a story that talked about a man named scott...

reagan: my aunt's ex-boyfriend is named scott.

adriano: what's an ex-boyfriend?

sam: i'll explain, miss a. ok. first, you kiss someone. now he's your boyfriend. then you kiss someone else. and the first one becomes your ex-boyfriend.

reagan: that's CHEATING!!!!

sam: same thing.

religion

2011-04-07T01:27:00.001-07:00

two of my reading students were leaving class to do their first confession. some students asked me what it was.

me: i'm not exactly sure what they do, i'm not catholic.

sam and reagan (with wide eyes of disbelief): YOU'RE NOT CATHOLIC?!?!?!?

adriano (with a look of great confusion): what are you, russian?

sam: no, she's probably pigtivian. (i think he meant presbyterian)

***

so there you have it. the world's religions narrowed down to three: catholic, russian, or pigtivian. so what are you?

bathroom

2011-03-16T02:08:00.000-07:00

the bathroom in our classroom has no lock, which has led to some embarrassing situations. dea, always a "take charge" kind of girl, took matters into her own hands and made this sign for the bathroom door:

OCCPIUD
do not come in!

(i have no idea what an occpiud is, but i'm not going in to find out.)

women

2011-02-10T04:28:00.001-08:00

we had been talking about important women in the american revolution. etienne was trying to remember deborah sampson, but was confusing her with another important woman we had studied...

etienne: was it joan of arc?....wait, who was joan of arc?

matteo: she was the one that got barbecued.

president

2011-02-03T11:17:00.001-08:00

i was showing my class a replica of the declaration of independence and trying to convince them that it was the real thing because president obama had started letting teachers check it out for two weeks at a time to show their students. they weren't sure what to think because sometimes i joke around a lot with them (no kidding), but they really wanted to believe this one. alessia, in her sweetest most pleading voice with her big puppy dog eyes, finally asked,

"please miss a, just tell us the truth, did mr. bahama really let you borrow the declaration of independence?"

beard

2011-01-24T07:07:00.000-08:00

i showed sam a picture of my oldest brother, who is 2 years younger than i am.

sam: who's older, you or him?

me: guess

sam: him, because he has a beard.

me: so if i was the older one, i'd have the beard?

sam: yeah, that's right.

me: sam, i'm a girl

sam: so?

me: i'm the older one.

sam: you're older and he has the beard? weird.

weird indeed, sam. weird indeed.

head

2010-12-16T01:42:00.001-08:00

santa had just visited the italian class, accompanied by tassilo's mom.

hannah: tassi, why does your mom always do everything?

tassilo: because she's the head room mother.

hannah: what does that mean, head?

tassilo: she's the king of room mothers.

hannah: oh, like the headmaster. he's our king.

tassilo: yeah, that's right.

hair

2010-12-04T02:25:00.001-08:00

from jennifer:

"your hair looks like you're tired."

what a respectful way to tell your math teacher that it looks like she didn't comb her hair that day.

color

2010-11-30T14:00:00.000-08:00

philip: miss a, what do you want for your birthday? a boyfriend?

me: sure.

sam: do you want a black one or a white one?

me: how about an italian one?

sam: oh, ok. so tan?

dance

2010-11-15T02:07:00.000-08:00

one of the fluorescent lights in our classroom has started to flicker. (so annoying.) philip (who is not in my homeroom) saw it, shook his head, and muttered, "it's so unfair."

"why is it unfair, philip?" i asked.

"because your class could have a dance party every day. you have a disco light."

that's one way to look on the bright side.

mistake

2010-11-07T10:35:00.001-08:00

oh, the difference one letter makes when you're an english language learner!

(imagine this with a stereotypical russian accent)

anna: miss a, you have boyfriend!

me: no, anna, i don't.

anna (to the class): guys, don't listen to her! she is just killing us!

(don't worry, though, i wasn't killing them...or even kidding, for that matter.)

eggs

2010-11-03T14:12:00.000-07:00

upon seeing that i chose a hard-boiled egg from the lunch line,

sam: you don't like eggs!

me: who says?

sam: well, i don't like eggs!

me: so what makes you think that i wouldn't like eggs?

sam: well, we're related.

hot

2010-11-01T12:56:00.000-07:00

me: does anyone feel hot?

everyone: no, it's ok.

me: i think it's pretty hot in here.

skye: take off your cardigan.

sam: take off ALL your clothes!

turtle

2010-09-29T15:08:00.000-07:00

i'm no artist. i don't claim to be. but it did sting a little when matteo said:

"i think you should draw another turtle. and this time, give him feet instead of wheels."

smell

2010-09-18T02:04:00.000-07:00

matteo was very enthusiastically telling etienne a story, to which etienne was listening attentively. when matteo was done, etienne excitedly turned to me, ready to share some fascinating tidbit from the story...

"matteo smells like batteries."

...or not.

conspiracy

2010-09-15T14:07:00.001-07:00

while discussing barbarian tribes of the middle ages:

sebastian: so are the huns the most evil?

gad: no, the fbi is.

new

2010-09-14T14:34:00.000-07:00

sara was changing her chair with the one at the empty desk next to her.

"sara, is there something wrong with your chair?" i asked her.

"no. but this one is fresher."

potato, potahto

2010-09-06T11:39:00.000-07:00

etienne: my friend used to come here, but now he goes to prison school.

matteo (to me): he means juvy, right?

ceiling

2010-06-10T13:40:00.000-07:00

while on our field trip to the planetarium, i watched connor wander around looking up at the black ceiling. not seeing what had his attention, i got closer until i overheard him muttering to himself, "that ceiling sure could use a little more pizzazz."

hobbies

2010-06-06T16:43:00.000-07:00

docent from the art museum: look at the girl in this painting. what do you think her hobbies are?

tyler (very thoughtfully): i think she likes to do her homework. and probably turn it in on time.

(yeah, just like my hobbies are grading papers and nagging students to turn in their homework.)

list

2010-05-28T11:15:00.000-07:00

i peeked at carson's to-do list:

1. study for astronemy test on tuesday
2. find a way to get money
3. find a way to get to mars by 2030

test

2010-05-10T13:23:00.000-07:00

to my math class, after finishing standardized testing:

me: so how did you guys do on the math test last week?

students (all at once): ok...good...not great...bad

connor: i did great. they asked me to come back for an encore.

mother

2010-05-07T06:54:00.000-07:00

from mother's day letters:

you are cool because you always pay to go on trips.
-sisi

when i'm 25 i'll still hold your hand.
-sophie

you are the best mom ever. you make the best diner.
-ethan

how about we go bolling for mothers day or you choose. you look so cute!
-tyler

i love you from every place in the universe and back.
-jaxon

i'd be dead by now without you. literally.
-jesse

i will even be there when i am 30!
-mikaela

you are a butterfly in the sky that loves pie. you are so peaceful and meaningful to me.
-sommer

you're not just a mom anymore! signed, your beloved one
-mollie

dad loves you more than the xbox 360. i love you more than space and hailee and noah love you more than the computer.
-hannah

happy mother's day!

lift

2010-05-06T08:07:00.001-07:00

after i told the class i had started lifting weights, they wanted to know why. so i told them it was so that i could lift ryan (the scrawniest kid in class) more easily. every few weeks they'd want to check my progress, so i'd lift ryan to demonstrate my strength. one day, ryan was looking pretty smug (and scrawny) when someone suggested i lift him. he said, "i don't think you'll be able to do it this time." "why not, ryan?" i asked him. "because i had turkey on my sandwich today...my mom's been feeding me a lot of meat lately."

clean

2010-04-28T14:15:00.001-07:00

connor was watching me give the white board a thorough cleaning:

"you need to put your back in it."

camels

2010-04-21T13:38:00.000-07:00

we were making camels for the phrase "it was the last straw that broke the camel's back":

sophie: can we draw a background?

me: yes

emma: i know what I'm going to draw for my background.

me: what?

emma: a farm.

me: that's good. because there are lots of camels on farms.

emma: sometimes there are...maybe I'll draw pyramids.

explorer

2010-04-15T13:39:00.000-07:00

some first graders were in our room looking at our display of native american houses and my students were staring at them in wonder:

jazman: what are they doing here?

kylee: i don't know, but that one looks like dora.

wings

2010-04-13T14:04:00.000-07:00

about my move abroad for next school year:

jazman: i don't want you to go to move next year! you should stay here forever!

connor: it's time for her to spread her wings and fly.

?

2010-03-25T15:50:00.001-07:00

connor: we will never be free.

me: why is that?

connor: because the spanish think we're a bunch of geeks.

try to explain that one. i dare you.

smoking

2010-03-25T15:47:00.000-07:00

based on some comments she had made, i felt it necessary to clarify to fiona that although smoking is bad, smokers are not bad people. connor wanted to help me out, "yeah, most smokers are actually quite cheery."

notes

2010-03-09T14:35:00.000-08:00

parent teacher conferences

me: so, there is a rule about not writing and passing notes, but it has become a problem lately that i wanted to make you aware of.

sommer's mom: sommer, did you know there is a rule about that?

sommer: no (which is totally untrue, by the way)

sommer's mom: well, now that you know that there is a rule, what will you do the next time someone passes you a note?

sommer: i'll read it and write back...i'll just be more careful now.

weirdo

2010-03-03T13:21:00.000-08:00

a story by mikaela:

the people in my class!
there are 26 people in my class. some of the people in my class are weardos. for example, sophie, she is weard and funny. another werdo in my class is fiona. she is a wedo because she stares at miss a, altho that's creapy. another wedo in my class is mollie, she is weard because at recess she says "hug, hug, hug" and tries to hug boys. there are people in my class that are strange, like michael, he is strang because he wants girls to chase him, and well, usually the boy tries to escape the girl and be left alown with the other boys. another strang person is carson, he is strang because, well, i can't really name things that are strang about carson because everything he does is weard. well that is *all the weard and strang people in my class.

(*actually there are many more weard and strang people in our class, but i told mikaela she didn't have time to write a novel.)

and a gem from connor:

a funky funky storie
hello, i am connor. i was born in 1582. today is father's day. my son got me an ipod. his name is dodo. my wife got me a mustange. she is also my daughter. we got in my mustange and went to mcdonalds. i downloaded the blackeyed peas new cd on my ipod. that was the best father's day ever.

(nothing says funky like a daughter-wife)

tease

2010-02-24T09:49:00.001-08:00

connor: they're teasing me about who i like.

me: ignore them.

connor: i don't like ignoring them. i'm the kind of guy who likes to take action.

news

2010-02-12T07:52:00.000-08:00

every morning fiona reports to me the happenings of the previous night and the early morning:

"victoria [her little sister] smelled my breath this morning and said it smelled like bologna...but it was actually bacon."

also, "it's pretty much my fault that stanley steamer is coming to our house today. i was going to throw up in the bathroom, but i got some on the carpet and my mom cleaned it, but the carpet is still brown."

connor

2010-02-03T10:05:00.001-08:00

without even trying, connor is one of the most entertaining students i've had:

he was laughing at something, then abruptly stopped and said, "actually, that's not funny. my brain can't tell the difference between lame or funny."

"i like action movies. they are violent movies, but i call it action. it sounds nicer that way, don't you think?"

it is common practice for me to give nicknames to my students: charleigh is charleigh bucket and jaxon is jaxon browne. connor one day had a great idea: "we should consider merging charleigh and jaxon. then we'd have charleigh browne in our class."

"i wish there was rock band for michael jackson's greatest hits. i'd even like rock band for michael jackson's crappiest hits."

the day after confessing that he had a crush on holland: "i don't really like holland. that was a cover up."

music

2010-01-22T11:57:00.000-08:00

ethan: hey, miss a, have you heard of rascal flatts?

me: yeah, i have. are they country music?

ethan: yeah. well, actually i'm not sure. they're either country or city.

marry

2010-01-04T14:35:00.000-08:00

christmas break was two weeks long, but apparently that's an eternity for a third grader:

emily: did you get married over the break?

me: of course not!

emily: i didn't think so. you're not the marrying type.

me (wincing): why not?

emily: you do fun things and go fun places and you have adventures. married people stay at home and watch tv. it's kinda weird.

proposal

2009-12-23T10:16:00.000-08:00

connor got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. he even had a heart shaped ring. how could i say no? so i said yes.

he is very excited to move in because he gets his own room AND he says that because he's my fiance he is half in charge of our class. marriage does have its perks.

writing

2009-12-14T08:46:00.000-08:00

from the students' autobiographies and biographies:

i was born in 2001 when i was biger than i should ov been. -michael

my greatest accomplishment is being on time for school, i like to have a snack after school when i get home. -jazman

i like fish tuna. i love cows. my girlfreind is beatiful. i have 2 girlfriends. -carson

i am at the age of 9 years old. -savanah

i, hannah, was born in the magnificent salt lake city. that place is in utah. it is like a bright light to me. -hannah

i'm still a child age. when my gerbils die, i'm going to get new one's. -dante

i was born in oragan. it was a normal berth. -blake

mikaela is a very nice friend. she cares for everyone in the world except strangers probably because they are mean. -fiona

she is good at complaining. -teyanna

indignant

2009-12-01T12:24:00.000-08:00

my class was divided over the outcome of the big rivalry game (college football). i told them that if they wanted to talk about it, they had to do it in their notebooks. being the good teacher i am, i reminded them to use good word choice instead of the word "sucks". here's what jesse wrote:

u is better than y. i think they're the better team. u would've CRUSHED y if their offense of cordinator wasn't being so disreputable. they just got caught off by troublesome penelties.

thankful

2009-11-28T10:49:00.001-08:00

dear miss a,

thank you for teaching me at this very cheap school...

love, hannah

elvis

2009-11-25T10:39:00.000-08:00

write a story problem for the number sentence 7-1=6.

hannah's answer:

elvis had 7 pelvises. he gave 1 pelvis to the garbage man. how many pelvises does elvis now?

spy

2009-11-20T07:44:00.001-08:00

after reading the word spy in our reading text...

connor: YOU'RE a spy.

me: how do you know?

connor: (with a disgusted look) because you went to russia...and you LIKED it.

if those are the only qualifications for a career in espionage, then i guess he's right.

tickles

2009-11-18T06:39:00.001-08:00

"i'm ticklish in places you don't even want to know about."

-michael to porter

snake

2009-11-13T12:22:00.001-08:00

jaxon: (worried): tyler just told me that people who were born in 2001 will be half snake and half human when they're older.

me: what year were you born?

jaxon: 2001

me: (thinking he was joking) uh oh, jaxon.

jaxon: (expression changing from worry to panic)

me: are you worried about this?

jaxon: a little. i don't want to be a snake.

shower

2009-11-11T08:11:00.000-08:00

upon completion of our skeletal system unit, i got this note:

dear miss a,

yesterday when i took a shower i was naming all the bones i was washing.

love,
savanah

name

2009-11-02T14:18:00.000-08:00

dominick: i know your real name.

me: that's nice.

dominick: but i'm not allowed to say it here, because that's disrespectful.
BUT!
(with a sly look and a conspiratorial whisper) when i get home...i'm going to say it...a lot...very loud...in my backyard...with my brother

and at that he sat back, with a triumphant look on his face, and continued working on his math, while i was left with the image of dominick and christian in their backyard shouting my first name over and over at the top of their lungs.

i hope he did it.

skeleton

2009-10-23T13:18:00.000-07:00

i had a life-sized skeleton hanging in the front of the room for our unit on the skeletal system. emily walked in and said loudly, "oh my gosh, miss a, i LOVE your body! it is awesome!" forgetting that the skeleton was behind me, i was flattered that she noticed i'd been working out.

invertebrates

2009-10-13T14:11:00.000-07:00

the students were trying to name kinds of invertebrates and had already successfully guessed insects and arachnids, but were stumped by crustaceans. i gave a clue, "some examples are crabs, crayfish, lobsters, and shrimp" sommer's hand shot up and she triumphantly announced, "seafood!"

charades

2009-09-30T10:35:00.001-07:00

i watched as connor lightly touched his forehead and then nodded his head vigorously a few times (picture it.) after he did it the second time i asked if everything was ok. he smiled at me sheepishly and said, "i'm a bobblehead."

vote

2009-09-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

we were getting ready to play a game about hannibal and the second punic war and each group was in charge of choosing which player went first. most groups argued a bit before settling on a player, but one group, being the diplomatic kidlets they are, decided to vote. in our class, some things are decided by vote and it's always a secret vote. they followed our usual voting procedure and all 4 students put their heads down. dante, with his head down, led the vote and called out the players' names. each player dutifully voted and did not cheat by looking up during the vote. when the vote was over, they all lifted their heads and said, "who won?" this was met with few shrugs and some confusion. in their excitement to vote, they hadn't designated a counter and so the results were secret even from them.

spelling

2009-09-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

we were reviewing spelling concepts and i asked the group what they remembered about cvc (consonant vowel consonant).

i got 27 blank stares. so i tried again.

"does anybody know what cvc stands for?"

joey ventured his best guess: "professional wrestling?"

wasted

2009-09-09T14:22:00.000-07:00

this conversation was generously shared by a teacher friend:

student: i think my dad is quitting his job.

teacher: why's that?

student: i actually think he's getting fired.

teacher: laid off, maybe?

student: no, i think he's getting fired. it's for a dui.

teacher: really?

student: yeah, but I don't think he was drunk. he said his level was like 1 point something, and i don't think that's bad. i think he was just drowsy driving. he's always tired.

fairy

2009-09-02T08:46:00.000-07:00

mollie wrote me this note:

i got a cute little tooth box from the tooth fairy. i think she likes to recycle. she gave me a colorful pill bottle.

vision

2009-08-28T21:08:00.000-07:00

jazman asked why i was moving desks around and i said, "oh there are lots of reasons: so you don't talk to your friends, so some kids can see the board better, things like that." she responded, "well, you can move me to the back {by her friend}, because i can see the board just fine from there." i laughed and said, "i'm glad to hear that you have good vision." "yeah, i do" she said. "it's because i ate a whole bag of carrots once."

question

2009-08-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

a good question for the first day of school:

"miss a, will you teach us how to transmission from reading to spelling?" -jesse

excitement

2009-08-21T13:09:00.000-07:00

yesterday was the "meet your teacher" extravaganza at our school. malia came in to see her former teacher and fill her in on the summer happenings:

me: so did you have a good summer?

malia: yeah! lots of exciting stuff happened!

me: really? like what?

malia: well, my mom had her baby 6 weeks early! (she proceeds to tell the entire story of her sister's birth)

me: wow! that does sound like a lot of excitement at your house.

malia: but that's not all!!!

me: what else happened?

malia: i found a canadian penny!

tickets

2009-05-28T14:07:00.000-07:00

our school has an annual carnival fundraiser and marcus' mom is in charge of the carnival, so he is privy to carnival information. throughout the day marcus had shared with us the people who he knew were buying tickets for the carnival. during class i happened to mention a student i had last year and upon hearing her name, marcus announced, "she's buying tickets, too...do you want to know how i always know who's buying tickets? 'cause i'm a creep."

secrets

2009-05-21T14:11:00.001-07:00

malia and lucy were giggling to themselves after school and i asked what was so funny. malia said, "i was just telling lucy about my first dire. when i was young (last year) i wanted a diary so bad that i asked my mom to give me one. she gave me a notebook and i wrote on the front 'malia's dire' because i was too young to spell diary." "so what deep, dark secrets did you need to record so badly?" i asked her. "well, i only wrote in it once and i wrote: jupute is the largest planet. my mom is having a baby."

colors

2009-05-14T11:20:00.000-07:00

we just finished reading sarah, plain and tall and it talks about sarah and papa's wedding at the end. malia told us that her wedding colors were going to be purple and white. marcus said, "guys never get to pick out wedding colors." i replied to marcus, "well, if you want to help when you get married just say, 'wifey, i want to help pick out colors'" he countered, "i will NOT call her wifey, that is the stupidest name. i will call her honey." then lucy said, "not me. i will say, 'for our wedding, baby maker, i want blue and yellow.'"

biography

2009-05-08T13:16:00.000-07:00

excerpts from the biographies and autobiographies the students wrote:

"oh and i never broke a single bone. imagen that of my 206 bones not a single one is broken and none have been broken. plus add this to the paragraph. i've been in the hospital 4 times (of course not for a broken bone)." -mac

"hope is a good good good runner. hope is a very good finder person. she finds anything that we lost." -kami

"sierra's mom is very tallented. she works as a hair salon person. sierra's mom was the person who cut alyssa's brother's hair. exsept alyssa's family got mad because sierra's mom wouldn't let alyssa's mom pay full price. so alyssa promises that someday they will pay full price. and sierra promises two things: one alyssa's family will not pay full price and two that she will pay alyssa back for buying ice cream." -alyssa (the biography was about her best friend, sierra)

"she is now a teacher. dosn't want to be married (ore dose she?)"
-davon (this one was about yours truly)

bryson included a table of contents in his biography:

contents:
beginning
body
end

fiesta

2009-05-05T08:01:00.000-07:00

the class wanted to put one more stamp in their geography passports before the end of the year, so we decided to have a cinco de mayo fiesta at lunch. they were very excited and actively participated in the planning:

marcus: i'll bring the sombreros!!!

sydney: i'll bring the maracas!!!

carter: i'll bring the swine flu!!!

flirt

2009-04-27T15:06:00.000-07:00

dominick: miss a, you were flirting with me today.

me: oh, really? how?

dominick: well, when i was staring at you, you started to laugh.

me: wait, let's go back to that, why were you staring at me?

dominick: i was lonely.

simple

2009-04-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

our school's 5th and 6th graders participate in the d.a.r.e. (drug abuse resistance education) program. at the end of the day an announcement was made for the d.a.r.e. students to report to their classroom and maria asked me what d.a.r.e. was. i told her it was a class to teach kids that drugs are bad and how to stay away from them. she was incredulous, "there's a CLASS for that? i could teach that class: drugs are bad, don't do them. if someone wants you to do drugs, tell them no and walk away. class dismissed." satisfied with her lesson, she went back to her writing.

***

sometimes these kids say the most bizarre, off-the-wall things and sometimes i think they have things figured out better than anyone else. class dismissed.

south

2009-04-07T13:07:00.000-07:00

madeline: when i went to new york, i met people from all over the world!

me: really? from where?

madeline: sweden...denmark...louisiana.

trip

2009-04-04T15:39:00.000-07:00

so we didn't take our field trip to the dump, instead we found a life science museum. field trip days are, of course, days of unending excitement and as the 2 third grade classes boarded the bus, they discovered that the best way to express their excitement was bouncing on their seats. however, after the requisite safety lecture that informed them there was to be no bouncing on the seats (which they took very seriously), the only way to release the energy was in the form of chanting. our driver told them his name was bubba and within a few minutes 50 third graders were chanting very enthusiastically, "BUBBA! BUBBA! BUBBA!" a few minutes later we passed an lds temple, which prompted "TEMPLE! TEMPLE! TEMPLE!" (these kids will make outstanding protesters one day) despite my pounding headache, i had to smile when the field of grazing horses did not fail to impress the chanters: "PONIES! PONIES! PONIES!"

star

2009-03-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

i had sprained my ankle and standing on it all day wasn't working out too well. by the afternoon i was unsuccessfully hiding a limp and i mentioned to the class that i probably looked so silly limping around all day. bryson reassured me when he said, "don't worry, miss a, your greatest fans are in here!"

pictures

2009-03-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

we had just received our group class picture and cayden's mom saw him looking at the picture and giggling to himself.

mom: what's so funny, cayden?

cayden (still giggling and shaking his head): i'm the fattest kid in my class!

mom (panicking): who told you that?!?

cayden (nonchalantly): nobody. i figured it out myself.

mom: well, did you tell anybody else?

cayden: just davon.

mom: and what did he say?

cayden: he said i should go on a diet.

wedding

2009-03-11T14:19:00.000-07:00

recently i got to meet an actor from my favorite tv show and i told my students about how exciting it was. of course, they asked if i was going to marry him and if so, would i invite them? i promised them that if this actor and i ever got married they would be the first people on the invitation list. this was very exciting to them and the class erupted with chatter. ready to move on i told the class to get ready for history. they were still buzzing about my upcoming, imaginary nuptials so they ignored me. i casually said, "if you don't get ready for history, i won't invite you to our wedding." this silenced most of them, except for marcus, who exclaimed, "even if you don't invite me i'll still come." "you can't, marcus, you won't know where or when it will be, " i countered. marcus was ready with his secret weapon, "so? i'll just look it up in the phone book. you can find out everything in the phone book!"

trees

2009-03-02T12:08:00.000-08:00

the question said to underline the 5 things that were not invented by anybody and ryan underlined buses. while checking his work he noticed his mistake and told us, "oops, i thought it said bushes. i got it wrong." i teased him saying, "no, ryan, it's right. didn't you know that buses grow on trees?" "yeah, right," he replied. everybody laughed and jacob said very seriously, "money does, too." forrest piped up, "yeah, that's true! in california!" and hope thoughtfully asked, "is that why everyone in california's so rich?" and jacob, apparently the money tree expert, said, "yes, most money trees grow in beverly hills."

geography

2009-02-24T12:19:00.000-08:00

conversation between a fifth grade former student and me...

carli: i'm going to switzerland next week!

me: cool! where is switzerland?

carli: well, at first i thought it was in florida but i found out it's across the ocean.

me: what continent is it on?

carli: paris?

random third grader: paris is not a continent!

carli: france?

same random third grader: france is a country!

me: it's in europe.

carli: oh yeah, but first we're going to paris to get translated.

idaho

2009-02-18T14:29:00.000-08:00

malia's report was entitled: idaho: a glittering white land. here are some excerpts from the report:

it snows so much during winter that it is almost half the size of a regular 6 or 7 year old.

in idaho, they use the following as decorations: hanged pictures, tiny statues (like is stuffed,) and little porcelin dolls. My grandpa and grandma lives in idaho and their house is full of hanged pictures, tiny statues, and little porcelin dolls. my mom grew up in idaho and knows a lot about idaho.

business

2009-02-09T07:50:00.000-08:00

i was getting ready to start my reading group but noticed that one student was missing. I asked the kids from his homeroom if he was here today. jacob said, "yeah, he just went to the bathroom." to which ryan responded, "he must be doing his duty."

speecher

2009-01-29T12:10:00.001-08:00

during lunchtime the kids were quietly eating their lunch and i was returning a phone call. the person i called told me i was assigned to give a speech. my class could tell i wasn't thrilled about this and when i got off the phone they asked what was wrong. i told them i had to give a speech and that i'm not good at giving speeches. sierra said,"yeah, but you're a really good talker."

huh?

2009-01-27T10:31:00.001-08:00

on dominick's birthday i continued our tradition of giving a great big hug to the birthday boy. while i was hugging him, dominick exclaimed, "ugh!! i'm being sabitized by miss a!"

neither dominick nor i know what it means either.

old

2009-01-20T08:12:00.001-08:00

i turned 29 over christmas break and my class knew that i was not very excited about it. as i was saying goodbye to them and wishing them a merry christmas i told them that the next time they saw me i'd be old. they laughed and said things like "you're not old, my dad's old." but sweet alexsis, trying to comfort me by using her kindest, gentlest voice, said "don't worry, miss a, you're not old til you're 30."

wait

2009-01-12T13:02:00.001-08:00

"my mom said i can't have a girlfriend until i'm married!"

-allan

(i wonder what his wife will think of that)

reminder

2008-12-23T07:15:00.000-08:00

noah's not much for writing so i was very surprised to see him take out his journal and surreptitiously glance at dyllan before starting to write. curiosity got the better of me and i wandered by to see what he wrote:

note to self: wacth out for dyllan

mythology

2008-12-17T06:42:00.001-08:00

it was the end of unit test on the vikings and norse mythology. i did a double take when i saw davon's answer to this question:

16. tyr is the god of ____________________.

"war" was the correct answer and davon spelled it the best he could:

16. tyr is the god of whore.

travel

2008-12-12T15:02:00.000-08:00

usually we take the third graders to the planetarium for our unit on astronomy. however, these kids had gone to the planetarium in first grade and we hadn't found an appropriate trip yet. so when they asked where we were going on our field trip, i told them the least desirable place i could think of: the dump. i didn't get the reaction i anticipated: they cheered. somebody said, "we could go there and gather up things to recycle!" a few days later we had a guest speaker telling us about life in canada and the kids were so excited about canada. malynne couldn't contain herself, "i have a great idea! let's go to canada on our field trip, instead of the dump!!"

misspell

2008-12-08T12:53:00.000-08:00

the rotary club gives all the third graders their very own dictionary every year. bryson was looking fervently for a word and i asked him which word it was. "arcane," was his response. "why do you need to know that word?" i asked. he told me that his older brother often uses words bryson doesn't know just to confuse him. then he said, "he did the same thing with 'clone' too, but i found that one already. it's not what i thought it was." "what did you think it was?" i asked him. bryson replied that he thought a clone was an exact copy of something else. confused, i told him that it was and had him show me the entry in the dictionary. trying not to laugh, i read the following definition aloud:

a person who has the ability to turn himself or herself into a comical character that brings happiness and joy; especially to children, the sick, and sad

as i read it aloud to the students, allan exclaimed, "that sounds like a clown!" it was...bryson had looked up clown, thinking it was clone.

bet

2008-11-29T08:34:00.000-08:00

i received this email from colton's mom after colton had lost a bet to me:

"we made him take a five dollar bill out of his own money to pay you. you know how much five dollars is to a nine year old. we suspected that you might not take it but we felt it was a good teaching opportunity. we talked about when you make a bet you have to pay up...if you don't want to pay then don't make a bet. colton said that he just knew you would keep it because you were poor. he said this through tears. i had to turn away as i thought it was so funny how dramatic he was being. after i gained my composure i asked him why he thought you were poor. he said, 'because she doesn't even have her own house.'"

test

2008-11-28T15:42:00.000-08:00

hope was in my class two years ago and now her sister, kami is my student. on the day of the animal classification test hope came up to me and said, "kami didn't study for her test last night. she wanted to see how smart she is without studying." the parents are very involved in the girls' schoolwork so i was surprised. i asked, "does your mom know this?" "no," hope replied. "kami only told me...while i was in the bathtub."

gotcha

2008-11-20T14:09:00.000-08:00

i asked the students which planet was the closest to the sun and called on noah, who was patiently raising his hand. he said, "i have two things to say. first, mercury is the planet closest to the sun and second, gabe is eating his boogers." at that he accusingly pointed at gabe, who was, indeed, eating his boogers.

teacher

2008-11-18T07:40:00.000-08:00

the writing prompt was "if i were teacher for a day..." the kids loved the idea of being in charge and most of their responses were predictable: "we'd have 2 hours of recess, we'd eat candy all day, we wouldn't have math" but corbin hit the nail on the head: "if i were teacher for a day i would get a subsutoot and stay home."

countdown

2008-11-13T12:56:00.000-08:00

the class was cleaning up the floor while i counted down. the rule is once i reach 0, they should all be in their seats. i was nearing 0 and they were still cleaning so i started counting by fractions, "one...three fourths...one half...one fourth..." allan joined in, but he doesn't quite have the firmest grasp on fractions yet: "one fourth...one third....one tooth...miss a, what comes after one tooth?"

japan

2008-11-05T07:37:00.000-08:00

if i could fly i'd fly to japan because my dad went to a mishen there. he tells me lots of jokes from japan exepet usealy i can't understand them because all of them are japenes.

-sierra

vocabulary

2008-10-31T11:01:00.000-07:00

jonathan is an avid reader and is always trying to incorporate the new words he uses in his writing, even when he's not quite sure what they mean:

"i just found out yesterday that my best friend, kevin, is moving away!! oh, the sadness!!! oh, the prosperity!!!"

apocalypse

2008-10-21T14:12:00.000-07:00

we noticed in math that the date was 10/10/08. megan commented that in two years the date would be 10/10/10 which the kids thought was pretty exciting. then they realized that it'll happen again in 2011 and 2012 and then in 2099 it will be 9/9/99. they got increasingly excited for each date...except for dominick. he looked more and more concerned until he finally asked, "how long is this world going to last?"

farmers

2008-10-17T12:40:00.000-07:00

i told the kids that the roman empire started as a small group of farmers and eventually grew to include most of europe and parts of asia and africa. bryson wondered aloud, "i wonder how a group of farmers conquered so much land." ryan had the most logical answer, "i think they used their pitchforks."

surprise

2008-10-16T12:11:00.000-07:00

noticing that noah was busy flexing and inspecting his skinny little biceps, mrs. m stopped at his desk and said, "wow, noah, those are some pretty big muscles you have there." perplexed, he replied, "yeah, i know...and i don't even know how they got that big!"

recipe

2008-10-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

1. how to make spider soup.
2. you put a loote of evel
3. no happynise
4. put allot of suger
5. with evel
6. put chiken heads in it.

end

-madison

flying

2008-10-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

i was explaining how birds could fly. i told the class that part of the reason we can't fly is because our bones are full of marrow and other things, but birds have hollow bones that make them lighter. lucy pondered this for a minute then asked, "what if i didn't eat for a week...then could i fly?"

snide

2008-10-03T08:56:00.001-07:00

isaac liked to bring his copy of "what your third grader needs to know" to school with him. while i would teach a lesson, he would turn to the corresponding chapter and share facts or look up things for us. one day i was lauding the intelligence of my class and dyllan muttered resentfully, to no one in particular, "take away isaac's book, THEN we'll see how smart he is."

fire

2008-10-01T10:12:00.001-07:00

we were preparing for a fire drill and i told the kids that when they heard the alarm they should put everything down, quietly line up at the door, and follow me out. i asked if there were any questions. teague raised his hand and said, very seriously, "i just have one thing to say. if any of you have this [he held up a small bottle of hand sanitizer] in your desk, you should take it out with you." i asked him why, thinking that having germ free hands would be the least of our concerns in an actual fire. he responded, "because on the bottle it says 'keep away from flames.'"

feisty

2008-09-23T07:50:00.000-07:00

ryan is one of the most soft spoken, kind hearted boys i've ever had in any of my classes. he's responsible and hard working and every teacher's dream. during writing one day, he and i were working on revisions to his time machine story. sierra was sitting nearby and was very excited about her story. so she turned around to me and said enthusiastically, "guess what my story's about!" before i could guess, little ryan piped up and casually said, "i don't know, but it's probably boring." we all started laughing, but i don't know who was more surprised: me, sierra, or ryan himself.

embarrassment

2008-09-08T12:38:00.000-07:00

matthew is normally a shy and easily embarrassed boy, so when i saw him fidgeting in his seat i quietly asked him if he needed to use the bathroom. he didn't hear me so i repeated my question, "do you need to use the bathroom?" he heard me that time and, loud enough for the whole class to hear, said, "NO, MY UNDERWEAR IS BOTHERING ME." ...so much for being discreet.

party

2008-09-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

noah invited the entire class to his birthday party. the day before the party he asked if he could make an important announcement about his party. thinking there'd been a time or location change i gave him the go ahead. he went to the front of the class and said, "if you're going to bring me a birthday present, don't give me anything power rangers. they're stupid and i hate them. thank you."

daycare

2008-05-13T14:11:00.000-07:00

while waiting at the end of the day to be picked up, jenecee said, to anybody listening, "i have to go to daycare today. i hate daycare!" gabe asked, "why do you have to go to daycare?" to which jenecee replied, "because my mom thinks she's fat."