color

philip: miss a, what do you want for your birthday? a boyfriend?

me: sure.

sam: do you want a black one or a white one?

me: how about an italian one?

sam: oh, ok. so tan?

dance

one of the fluorescent lights in our classroom has started to flicker. (so annoying.) philip (who is not in my homeroom) saw it, shook his head, and muttered, "it's so unfair."

"why is it unfair, philip?" i asked.

"because your class could have a dance party every day. you have a disco light."

that's one way to look on the bright side.

mistake

oh, the difference one letter makes when you're an english language learner!

(imagine this with a stereotypical russian accent)

anna: miss a, you have boyfriend!

me: no, anna, i don't.

anna (to the class): guys, don't listen to her! she is just killing us!


(don't worry, though, i wasn't killing them...or even kidding, for that matter.)

eggs

upon seeing that i chose a hard-boiled egg from the lunch line,

sam: you don't like eggs!

me: who says?

sam: well, i don't like eggs!

me: so what makes you think that i wouldn't like eggs?

sam: well, we're related.

hot

me: does anyone feel hot?

everyone: no, it's ok.

me: i think it's pretty hot in here.

skye: take off your cardigan.

sam: take off ALL your clothes!