the end

on june 3, my teaching career ended, and with it, this blog.

thanks for laughing with me.

definition

we were reading a story that talked about a man named scott...

reagan: my aunt's ex-boyfriend is named scott.

adriano: what's an ex-boyfriend?

sam: i'll explain, miss a. ok. first, you kiss someone. now he's your boyfriend. then you kiss someone else. and the first one becomes your ex-boyfriend.

reagan: that's CHEATING!!!!

sam: same thing.

religion

two of my reading students were leaving class to do their first confession. some students asked me what it was.

me: i'm not exactly sure what they do, i'm not catholic.

sam and reagan (with wide eyes of disbelief): YOU'RE NOT CATHOLIC?!?!?!?

adriano (with a look of great confusion): what are you, russian?

sam: no, she's probably pigtivian. (i think he meant presbyterian)


***

so there you have it. the world's religions narrowed down to three: catholic, russian, or pigtivian. so what are you?

bathroom

the bathroom in our classroom has no lock, which has led to some embarrassing situations. dea, always a "take charge" kind of girl, took matters into her own hands and made this sign for the bathroom door:


OCCPIUD
do not come in!


(i have no idea what an occpiud is, but i'm not going in to find out.)

women

we had been talking about important women in the american revolution. etienne was trying to remember deborah sampson, but was confusing her with another important woman we had studied...

etienne: was it joan of arc?....wait, who was joan of arc?

matteo: she was the one that got barbecued.

president

i was showing my class a replica of the declaration of independence and trying to convince them that it was the real thing because president obama had started letting teachers check it out for two weeks at a time to show their students. they weren't sure what to think because sometimes i joke around a lot with them (no kidding), but they really wanted to believe this one. alessia, in her sweetest most pleading voice with her big puppy dog eyes, finally asked,

"please miss a, just tell us the truth, did mr. bahama really let you borrow the declaration of independence?"

beard

i showed sam a picture of my oldest brother, who is 2 years younger than i am.

sam: who's older, you or him?

me: guess

sam: him, because he has a beard.

me: so if i was the older one, i'd have the beard?

sam: yeah, that's right.

me: sam, i'm a girl

sam: so?

me: i'm the older one.

sam: you're older and he has the beard? weird.

weird indeed, sam. weird indeed.