reminder

noah's not much for writing so i was very surprised to see him take out his journal and surreptitiously glance at dyllan before starting to write. curiosity got the better of me and i wandered by to see what he wrote:


note to self: wacth out for dyllan

mythology

it was the end of unit test on the vikings and norse mythology. i did a double take when i saw davon's answer to this question:

16. tyr is the god of ____________________.

"war" was the correct answer and davon spelled it the best he could:

16. tyr is the god of whore.

travel

usually we take the third graders to the planetarium for our unit on astronomy. however, these kids had gone to the planetarium in first grade and we hadn't found an appropriate trip yet. so when they asked where we were going on our field trip, i told them the least desirable place i could think of: the dump. i didn't get the reaction i anticipated: they cheered. somebody said, "we could go there and gather up things to recycle!" a few days later we had a guest speaker telling us about life in canada and the kids were so excited about canada. malynne couldn't contain herself, "i have a great idea! let's go to canada on our field trip, instead of the dump!!"

misspell

the rotary club gives all the third graders their very own dictionary every year. bryson was looking fervently for a word and i asked him which word it was. "arcane," was his response. "why do you need to know that word?" i asked. he told me that his older brother often uses words bryson doesn't know just to confuse him. then he said, "he did the same thing with 'clone' too, but i found that one already. it's not what i thought it was." "what did you think it was?" i asked him. bryson replied that he thought a clone was an exact copy of something else. confused, i told him that it was and had him show me the entry in the dictionary. trying not to laugh, i read the following definition aloud:

a person who has the ability to turn himself or herself into a comical character that brings happiness and joy; especially to children, the sick, and sad

as i read it aloud to the students, allan exclaimed, "that sounds like a clown!" it was...bryson had looked up clown, thinking it was clone.

bet

i received this email from colton's mom after colton had lost a bet to me:

"we made him take a five dollar bill out of his own money to pay you. you know how much five dollars is to a nine year old. we suspected that you might not take it but we felt it was a good teaching opportunity. we talked about when you make a bet you have to pay up...if you don't want to pay then don't make a bet. colton said that he just knew you would keep it because you were poor. he said this through tears. i had to turn away as i thought it was so funny how dramatic he was being. after i gained my composure i asked him why he thought you were poor. he said, 'because she doesn't even have her own house.'"

test

hope was in my class two years ago and now her sister, kami is my student. on the day of the animal classification test hope came up to me and said, "kami didn't study for her test last night. she wanted to see how smart she is without studying." the parents are very involved in the girls' schoolwork so i was surprised. i asked, "does your mom know this?" "no," hope replied. "kami only told me...while i was in the bathtub."

gotcha

i asked the students which planet was the closest to the sun and called on noah, who was patiently raising his hand. he said, "i have two things to say. first, mercury is the planet closest to the sun and second, gabe is eating his boogers." at that he accusingly pointed at gabe, who was, indeed, eating his boogers.

teacher

the writing prompt was "if i were teacher for a day..." the kids loved the idea of being in charge and most of their responses were predictable: "we'd have 2 hours of recess, we'd eat candy all day, we wouldn't have math" but corbin hit the nail on the head: "if i were teacher for a day i would get a subsutoot and stay home."

countdown

the class was cleaning up the floor while i counted down. the rule is once i reach 0, they should all be in their seats. i was nearing 0 and they were still cleaning so i started counting by fractions, "one...three fourths...one half...one fourth..." allan joined in, but he doesn't quite have the firmest grasp on fractions yet: "one fourth...one third....one tooth...miss a, what comes after one tooth?"

japan

if i could fly i'd fly to japan because my dad went to a mishen there. he tells me lots of jokes from japan exepet usealy i can't understand them because all of them are japenes.

-sierra

vocabulary

jonathan is an avid reader and is always trying to incorporate the new words he uses in his writing, even when he's not quite sure what they mean:

"i just found out yesterday that my best friend, kevin, is moving away!! oh, the sadness!!! oh, the prosperity!!!"

apocalypse

we noticed in math that the date was 10/10/08. megan commented that in two years the date would be 10/10/10 which the kids thought was pretty exciting. then they realized that it'll happen again in 2011 and 2012 and then in 2099 it will be 9/9/99. they got increasingly excited for each date...except for dominick. he looked more and more concerned until he finally asked, "how long is this world going to last?"

farmers

i told the kids that the roman empire started as a small group of farmers and eventually grew to include most of europe and parts of asia and africa. bryson wondered aloud, "i wonder how a group of farmers conquered so much land." ryan had the most logical answer, "i think they used their pitchforks."

surprise

noticing that noah was busy flexing and inspecting his skinny little biceps, mrs. m stopped at his desk and said, "wow, noah, those are some pretty big muscles you have there." perplexed, he replied, "yeah, i know...and i don't even know how they got that big!"

recipe

1. how to make spider soup.
2. you put a loote of evel
3. no happynise
4. put allot of suger
5. with evel
6. put chiken heads in it.

end

-madison

flying

i was explaining how birds could fly. i told the class that part of the reason we can't fly is because our bones are full of marrow and other things, but birds have hollow bones that make them lighter. lucy pondered this for a minute then asked, "what if i didn't eat for a week...then could i fly?"

snide

isaac liked to bring his copy of "what your third grader needs to know" to school with him. while i would teach a lesson, he would turn to the corresponding chapter and share facts or look up things for us. one day i was lauding the intelligence of my class and dyllan muttered resentfully, to no one in particular, "take away isaac's book, THEN we'll see how smart he is."

fire

we were preparing for a fire drill and i told the kids that when they heard the alarm they should put everything down, quietly line up at the door, and follow me out. i asked if there were any questions. teague raised his hand and said, very seriously, "i just have one thing to say. if any of you have this [he held up a small bottle of hand sanitizer] in your desk, you should take it out with you." i asked him why, thinking that having germ free hands would be the least of our concerns in an actual fire. he responded, "because on the bottle it says 'keep away from flames.'"

feisty

ryan is one of the most soft spoken, kind hearted boys i've ever had in any of my classes. he's responsible and hard working and every teacher's dream. during writing one day, he and i were working on revisions to his time machine story. sierra was sitting nearby and was very excited about her story. so she turned around to me and said enthusiastically, "guess what my story's about!" before i could guess, little ryan piped up and casually said, "i don't know, but it's probably boring." we all started laughing, but i don't know who was more surprised: me, sierra, or ryan himself.

embarrassment

matthew is normally a shy and easily embarrassed boy, so when i saw him fidgeting in his seat i quietly asked him if he needed to use the bathroom. he didn't hear me so i repeated my question, "do you need to use the bathroom?" he heard me that time and, loud enough for the whole class to hear, said, "NO, MY UNDERWEAR IS BOTHERING ME." ...so much for being discreet.

party

noah invited the entire class to his birthday party. the day before the party he asked if he could make an important announcement about his party. thinking there'd been a time or location change i gave him the go ahead. he went to the front of the class and said, "if you're going to bring me a birthday present, don't give me anything power rangers. they're stupid and i hate them. thank you."

daycare

while waiting at the end of the day to be picked up, jenecee said, to anybody listening, "i have to go to daycare today. i hate daycare!" gabe asked, "why do you have to go to daycare?" to which jenecee replied, "because my mom thinks she's fat."

cats

my class has an obsession with my age and my marital status. they frequently ask me things like, "why aren't you married?" "do you have a boyfriend?" and "when are you getting married?" however, lexi, who apparently sees my future taking a different course, asked, "are you going to be the old lady with all the cats?"

animals

during a class play, jonathan was playing the part of the woodcutter. the class had written their own scripts and that became obvious when jonathan stood up and announced, "i will trade you this money for food. i must feed my wife and my young."

happy

the art teacher was teaching the concept of using light to express moods in painting. she asked the class, "what would the artist paint to show sadness?" someone appropriately responded that the artist would use dark colors and have little light in the painting. very good. then she asked, "what would the artist paint to show happiness?" gabe's hand shot up and he answered, "a farmer."

yes, of course, the very epitome of happiness...a farmer.

clever

the task was to write a sentence using the word "stubborn." here is noah's sentence:

someday your gonna land on somthing as stubborn as you.

crush

who better to turn to for love advice than your 3rd grade teacher? this is hailey's heartsick plea for help:

i gess i could tell you about me and boyds friendship. it started in kidnergarten...we playd a game called rainbow-wachis. then one day i played with someone else and it brok boyds heart. then when i saw how hurt he was i really loved him but he never notis me and it stayed that way ever seins :( i have other feinds to play with now but wenever i see boyd i go in sort of...a...trans...at least that what my freinds say. the reson i'am doin this is to ask your advise. pleas tell me somethig.

alice

we are in the middle of reading alice's adventures in wonderland. i gave the students the assignment to write about shrinking or growing like alice. i asked them to consider what they would do if they could shrink or grow at will. here are some of their responses:

i would like to be small so...i could go to texas and prove them wrong: everything is NOT bigger in texas.
-andrew

i am 1 mm tall. i am going to my school it's by a tree with peddles (flower). i live in a dollhouse. after school i am going skiing on ice cream. then i'll go antback riding...
-rachael

i would choose small end of the mushrume so i could be small so i could expiareans the small life.
-ashley

i would be small so i could eavesdrop on my teacher.
-lexi

arnold

our classroom has shelves with several rows of books (library style) and a bookcase filled with books facing forward with their covers visible. the shelves hold miscellaneous books and the bookcase has books about topics we are currently studying. i had used several books and asked lexi to put them back in the bookcase and, instead, she put them on the shelves. i mentioned that we needed to come up with a way to distinguish between the two to avoid confusion, like calling one the shelves and the other the bookcase. i asked the class for ideas about what to call the two and ashley had the perfect solution. "let's call the bookcase arnold!" so now we have the shelves and we have arnold. i always giggle when i overhear variations of the following conversation:

"oooh, that book looks good. is it yours?"

"no, it's miss a's."

"oh, where was it?"

"it was in arnold."

ode

I made a iceball about 2 feet tall. I dont want to make a snowman I just want an iceball. I named it icey the iceball. because he got rained on. So he is all ice....pretty much. And when i sit on him i slip right off of him. My iceball has alot of leaves stuck in him. He has a little bit of dents in him because i kick him when i'm mad. Because sometimes he gets stuck in the snow and I can't roll him. My iceball has 1 big lump of snow on him. Because i have snow ball fights with him. And i threw one too hard. That ice ball is my best friend.

-amanda (from her journal)