bones

we had just finished a science unit on the skeletal system when chaz went to the doctor for a pain in his shoulder. the doctor asked him to show him where it hurt. chaz decided to show his newfound knowledge. "well, doctor, it started in sternum and before long spread to my clavicle. now the pain is mainly in my humerus."

authors

some excerpts from third grade writing:


i knew i'd have to run hard to make it to turd. there was someone already standing on turd, but when he saw me running to him he left turd and ran home.
-chaz

when i grow up i want to be a garbage truck or a pilot.
-parker

i want to be a math teacher when i grow up so i can grade papers and give speeches when kids forget their homework. that would be so much fun.
-brianna

one goal that my friend has is to go into the army. another goal is to not get killed in the army.
-carson

this is how my family is. we have a mom that's 35 and a dad that's 36 and a brother that's 13 and a sister that's 3 and a carli that's 8.
-carli

i'm terribly sorry that we acted in such an ill-mannered way.
-clara (an apology letter to the art teacher)

art

when introducing a poem that talks about the first thanksgiving, i asked the students to think about the things they ate for thanksgiving dinner. i had them come to the board and draw a food they associated with that holiday. among the turkeys and pies i noticed a beautifully drawn perfect cylinder. i pointed out all the pictures and made comments about each. when i got to the cylinder i said, "it looks like someone drinks cans of soda at thanksgiving." the artist piped up and said, "that's not soda. that's cranberries."

which

we kept the two christians straight by calling one christian a. (who is small), and the other, christian p. (who is average sized). one day while playing heads up seven up (you know this game), christian a. and 6 other students (among whom was NOT christian p.) were at the front while the rest of the class was trying to figure out who had touched their thumbs. one student thought christian a. had chosen him and guessed, "christian?" to which he replied, "what kind of christian?" as if we were discussing ice cream flavors or music preferences. apparently, i was the only one who thought this was a strange way to respond because the guessing student, unfazed, answered, "the short kind."

empty

brandon is an extremely cute kid with not a whole lot going on upstairs. one day in math he said something so far out there that i shook my head and muttered, "brandon, i would love to know what's in that head of yours." of course i wasn't expecting an answer, but brandon thought i was. "beans!" he announced, matter-of-factly. "my head's full of beans."

clap

jazlyn and chaz sat right next to each other. while looking at chaz, i called on jazlyn and it came out as chazlyn. third graders, of course, think that is just the most hilarious thing. so they spent the next few minutes combining each other's names. nicholas and bethany became nicholethany, gabe and caleb morphed to galeb and so on, each name more clever than the last. i decided that it was time to move on when jonathan shouted out his own creation, "JOHNORRHEA!!" jonathan was ignorant of the resemblance his word had to an unfortunate health condition, but to him, it was the perfect combination of john and victoria.

temptation

to help the students understand culture, we made personal culture boxes. they were shoeboxes set up like dioramas, but instead of dinosaurs, they contained family photos, special toys, favorite items and any other thing that showed the individual culture of each student. ben's culture box had the usual assortment of pictures and treasured items, but hanging from the shoe box, attached only with a piece of scotch tape, was a single cheeto. "ben," i said. "what does the cheeto represent?" he replied, "i just like them." fair enough. afternoon rolled around and presentation time arrived. ben stood up to share his culture box and i noticed a dangling piece of scotch tape, obviously missing a cheeto. "ben, where's your cheeto?" i asked. to which he replied, "i ate it...i couldn't help it."

hola

we had a special visitor one day. so i asked my students to introduce themselves by saying their names and one thing interesting about them-something no one else could say. most students seemed to think that playing soccer and liking art was unique. "my name is sarah and i'm good at soccer" and "my name is darian and i like art" were common responses. however, when we got to blond-haired brayden, he proudly declared, "my name is brayden and my dad's a mexican!"